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Fri May 07, 2004

Parents, Do Your Part! [Rant]


"You. Yes, you. In the leather-clad SUV with the 'My Child is an Honor Student at Sproggenhell Kindergarten' bumpersticker. Hold it right there."

"I realize you're taking your Wikkle Tweasure to the playground here in the park. There's a thing about that, though. Ya see those two signs? The one that says 'Honor System' and the other that says 'MD Residents - $2 per car'? They're there for a reason."

They've cut the ranger staff at the state parks here in Maryland. As a result, many of the gates are unmanned during the week. The usage/parking fee for the facilities is a measly two bucks. Of all the vehicles I see in the lot, the ones most frequently lacking daily or monthly passes are the SUVs parked next to the tire playground. The ones that disgorge a horde of little Future Stewards of the Environment.

I know life's hard, parents. I know you sacrifice for your little replicants all the time. However, if you can afford the $50 a week to fill up the Grand Behemoth V8 , you can drop a couple of Washingtons into the envelope at the gate. I know you're here a couple times a week, and that you only stay for a little while. But, you know what? Tough shit. You're using the facility. Pay the facility fee.

You see those broke-ass college students over there that rolled up in the ragged 1982 Honda Civic to play frisbee? They paid. So can you. The world is not run as a convenience and amusement for you and your podlings. I bet you'll be the first ones to bitch and moan when maintenance of your precious playground starts to fall off due to budget cuts, too. You'll fuss in the letters-to-the-editor columns and try to get more tax money spent on parks, but you won't pay a goddamned cent extra outta your pocket for the privilege. Will you? Selfish pricks.

And while we're at it, a bunch of your little brats are spraypainting over trail blazes and writing graffiti on trees and rocks trailside. These are young'uns too - kiddies who think "poop", "boobies", "turd", and "titties" are Really Horrible Swear Words. I figure they're about 12. So, if you've got a pre-teen boy in your house, he spends a lot of time at the park, and you find that your stash of Krylon is disappearing from the garage, your kid probably needs an ass-whippin'.

Do your part and contribute something, frickin' suburboids. Stop sucking off the tit of others' good conscience, and raise your kids so that they don't fuck things up for the rest of us.


Posted by Rob Novak on Fri May 07, 2004 | Comment on this entry | TrackBack
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