Re: Social Anxiety Support Group (where-I-live downtown)

[http://dummy.us.eu.org/robert (Robert)]

 > From: http://www.gmail.com/~engler
 > Date: Mon, 11 Aug 2008 00:56:46 -0700
 >
 > If you're interested to know, my strategy is just to do whatever thing I 
 > find myself dreading, yet I know I can still do. Like, I felt nervous to 
 > go into a nice looking restaurant and try to order something to go 
 > (since it was unusual, and I felt that people would look at me for 
 > having no friends with me, etc. It doesn't make sense, but you know how 
 > it goes...) so I did that. Or walk close to a group of strangers that 
 > intimidate me, etc. Since I'm afraid of so many things, and it's all 
 > very easy to do and takes a couple seconds, I can do it all day.

This sounds very much like the techniques in this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Shyness-What-Do-About/dp/0201550180

I read it many years ago (when I was 22 -- I'm almost twice that now).

 > It's 
 > actually been building up really fast into some things that I would 
 > never think of doing before. For the last 3 days I've been going to bars 
 > and ordering non-alcoholic drinks. Last night, some drunk guy was giving 
 > me grief for not drinking and it was really getting to me. But I went to 
 > the same bar tonight, and everything was pretty much cool. (I don't want 
 > to drink alcohol, because I worry that if I did conquer my S.A. when I 
 > was drunk, I'd always have to be drunk to be free of it--obviously, not 
 > good).

Good strategy.  But, I generally don't like bars, anyway, because I don't
drink much and probably wouldn't drink at it if it weren't for my wife.

 > My end goal is actually to not care at all what other people think. If I 
 > get there, I think I'd be far above even normal people in my social ability.

Yes, this is definitely the goal.  There are some side things you'd also
have to give up -- like some level of financial stability; I think the
goal towards "safety" is one of my problems, and that's sorta wrapped up
in money.  At least, for me.

 > Anyway, thanks for telling me your thoughts on it. They are surprisingly 
 > very close to my own.
 > 
 > Tim