RE: book given a while ago

["Robert" <http://dummy.us.eu.org/robert>]

 > From: "Flora " <http://www.dps.state.vt.us/~f>
 > Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:22:50 -0500
 >
 > Nick has never said anything to us, nor has any of his teachers.

Well, I never talked with either mom nor dad nor any teachers nor any
friends about my being bullied.  I think it's a hard thing to talk about,
epecially when it happens outside of school (as it did in my case) and
there is the constant fear of retaliation for "ratting out".

 > We are
 > in constant contact with them.  He has many advocates at school.  As a
 > matter of fact, I received an email this morning reviewing their class
 > trip on Friday to Central Vermont Community College.  She also discussed
 > the possibility of him taking an into to college class at the same
 > school and after completing that, he would be able to take a free class
 > there.

That would be good.  I was very happy at college (maybe Evergreen is
different?) because social interaction was easier and there was far more
acceptance of weird habits/personalities.

 > They have also set up an two separate meetings with two different
 > people.  The first with the high school's transitional specialist to
 > work on interview skills, career interests, etc.  Nick will also meet
 > with a representative from Voc Rehab in January to learn more about how
 > they can support him in his transition. 

Good.

 > He is very fortunate that he has so much support at U-32 (the name of
 > our high school).  He currently has an IEP (Individualized Education
 > Program (alternatively called an "Individualized Education Plan,"
 > "Individual Education Plan,").  This entitles him to receive special
 > services.  As a matter of fact, they said that he could take another
 > year of high school at the technical school in the next town if he was
 > interested in pursuing one of the subjects there.

Sudbury had Minuteman Career & Technical High School.  Same deal, I suppose.

 > He has to make the
 > decision by the middle of next month.  As of right now, though, he's not
 > interested in any of the programs.

That's too bad.

 > He thinks that he will be working full time after graduating from high
 > school.

I think he should go to college.  Or seminary school.  Or something where
he can learn philosophy, economics, and anthropology.  He seems to have
the ability.

(My friend Kathryn never went to college, and she's certainly one of the
smartest people I know.  Same for my friend Mike McQueen.  So, college
isn't really necessary for a good intellectual life, but, these days, it
does seem to be necessary for a comfortable economic life.)

 > Not sure doing what yet.  He doesn't appear to be interested in
 > attending college at this point.  Tim thinks that the military is the
 > way to go for him, but I'm not so sure because of his personality.

It doesn't seem like it.  If he was bullied in high school (that remains
open, I suppose), then he'll certainly get bullied in the military.  That
would be a disaster.

 > When
 > starting out in the military they expect you to follow directions, but
 > the longer you are in they expect you to become a leader.  He definitely
 > is physically capable, but I'm not sure he would be happy in the
 > military.  
 > 
 > I picture him working within a small group and being somewhat
 > inconspicuous.

I think I agree.  But, I think he needs a good mentor.

That's always hard to find (unless you join a cult :-( ).

Does he like plumbing or electrical work?  Those can be good professions
without having to go to college.  The problem, of course, is that he would
get no intellectual stimulation.

 > Right now it is really difficult to talk to him.  I don't think that he
 > is very happy right now.  

Yeah, I get that feeling, too.  He seems very socially awkward, even more
than I was (and continue to be).  It's too bad he doesn't belong to a
group (I at least had the Computer Center) that he can identify with.

It seems like there would be some kind of social groups around there, like
ones that hang around cafes and talk politics and philosophy or something.
I don't know.

 > They tell me that when he had to go around school in a costume that he
 > had made, he was a different person.  I think that we all are and have
 > to be actors in our lives at different times in our lives. 

Well, certainly going into character is a way to hide from yourself.
Maybe he'd like acting?  Does he like playing music?  When I was up on
stage drumming, it was easier to just be myself and to act goofy.

Are there any punk clubs in Montpelier?

 > -----Original Message-----
 > From: Robert [http://dummy.us.eu.org/robert] 
 > Sent: Monday, December 20, 2010 3:00 PM
 > To: Flora 
 > Cc: http://profiles.yahoo.com/Flora; http://www.gmail.com/~flora
 > Subject: RE: book given a while ago
 > 
 > To: "Flora " <http://www.dps.state.vt.us/~f>
 > 
 >  > From: "Flora " <http://www.dps.state.vt.us/~f>  > Date: Mon, 20 Dec
 > 2010 13:23:49 -0500  >  > I glanced through it.
 > 
 > OK.  It's probably too late, but I was wondering if Nick had been
 > bullied at school since I was reading some of the symptoms and they
 > reminded me of him.
 > 
 > (This was actually the original reason I gave this book to you.)